In truth I have no complaints about the movie. I enjoyed all the actors and found their pertrayals of the characters to be enjoyable and believable. I think perhaps the evil characters were my favorite. Christoph Waltz played Richelieu in a such a weasely awful way… that I loved to hate him. Orlando Bloom played the Duke of Buckingham and I quite enjoyed the battles of fashion between him and Freddie Fox who played King Louis XIII of France.

The best line in the movie was delivered by Logan Lerman who played D’Artagnan. I absolutely love his snarkyness with Gabriella Wilde who played Constance.

D’Artagnan: Enjoying the show?
Constance: Are you always this cocky?
D’Artagnan: Only on Tuesdays… and whenever beautiful women are involved.
Constance: So, you think I’m beautiful?
D’Artagnan: Naturally, it’s Tuesday.

I wanted to love The Three Musketeers… but I simply liked it. The story was ok, the acting was ok… it’s saving grace was likely in the visuals. This was a beautiful movie to see!!! The saturated colors and overly lustrous sets were pleasing to the eyes. Wait till you see the air ship… humorous cus they look like da Vinci drawings… but cool cus they almost look like pirate ships!

My Advice: Watch ¡Three Amigos! instead… but if you must see it… Rent it… it doesn’t suck!!!

PS. Don’t worry! I woke up TJ when it was time to leave.

Have you ever been in a situation where you are given movie options… but you’re basically choosing between Suck and Suck?! I recently traveled to NY on Delta Airlines. On one hand I love that delta had TV screens in every seat back! I felt spoiled. However… what I didn’t like was that the movie curator sucks at his/her job!The Green Lantern vs. The Hangover Part II, are you serious? Who’s sucks at picking movies that much!?

I mumbled obscenities under my breath… then decided to make an event/theme out of their bad taste. I wouldn’t choose between 2 bad movies… I’d watch them both… then complain to you about every painful moment.

Having heard the most bad reviews about Hangover Part II… I watched it first. (It seemed to make the most sense logically.) Hangover II wasted no time in their efforts of convincing me it sucked. I recall being 2 minutes deep… and thinking… OH WOW… THIS IS ALREADY BAD!!!

First of all… the actors… I am so over Zach Galifianakis!!! If I never see him in a movie again… it will be too soon!!! Plus who decided he should be the main character? Horrible choice! Ed Helms is sweet… I hate to say bad things about him… but “you were great in the office, I hate you in Hangover.” Bradley Cooper you haven’t done a good movie yet… so the good news is no harm done on this movie! (I almost liked you in A-team… but the movie as a whole was too soft!)

The Hangover Part II… I did say part 2 right? I ask because I think they shipped the same script twice!!! Why make another Hangover movie if it’s simply a re-make of the first? You did “ok” on the first movie… why did you want to attempt to do worse on the second?

MY ADVICE: If you want to see the “ok” version of this movie… watch The Hangover.

The hangover ended and I think I mumbled to myself: “am I really going to watch another crappy movie?” and then I mumbled back: “It’s for the fans… You gotta have a theme for the review.” And then I swiped my credit card and paid for a second crappy movie!

I think the Green Lantern was in the Theaters less than a week. I recall saying to TJ: “SAWEET… I SO WANNA SEE THAT!” I’m sure he said something like “yeah… no thanks!” And then I never saw it…

I heard from many people Green Lantern was “HORRIBLE.” Yet when I saw it as an option on the flight… curiosity got the best of me… and I had to see if it was as bad as everybody said. In short… IT IS!!!

I’m not sure what the casting agent was thinking when they cast Ryan Reynolds as a super hero. Perhaps a bunch of grey haired out of touch agents were sitting around a table… we need somebody young, attractive, hunky, athletic, sexy, irresistible and a total Clark Kent type. Hopefully somebody suggested Ryan Gosling and there was just a paperwork error… Because the idiot that thought super hero and cast the star of: Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle & Adventureland needs to be shot… or at least slapped around a lot!!! I love Ryan Reynolds… but super hero? PLEASE!

There are no redeeming qualities in Green Lantern. At times it’s a horrible Top Gun knock off, other times I found myself thinking… COME ON, not another homage to Star Wars!!! I didn’t like any of the alien characters, in fact they were more awkward looking than Trekkies at Comic-con!

Ok… I lied… there was one good line in the movie: (SPOILER ALERT) 

Green Lantern: Evening, ma’am. Didn’t have chance to say goodbye. Are you okay?
Carol Ferris: Uh, yeah, no, I’m glad I have a chance to thank you.
Green Lantern: Just doing my job. No thanks necessary, miss.
Carol Ferris: No, it is. You saved my life. You saved all of our lives. That was a very…
[looks closer at him, recognizes he is Hal]
Carol Ferris: Hal?
Green Lantern: Miss?
Carol Ferris: Hal? Oh, my G…! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Hal!
Green Lantern: How did you know it was me?
Carol Ferris: What do you mean? I’ve known you my whole life! I’ve seen you naked! You don’t think I would recognize you because I can’t see your cheekbones? What is this? Why is your skin green? Why are you glowing? What the hell is with that mask?
Green Lantern: It came with the outfit. Cool, huh?

MY ADVICE: Watch all the movies it’s try to imitate! Don’t even rent it!
(Superman, Batman, Top Gun, Star Wars)

When I heard that Moneyball was coming out I got super excited. I went to my storage unit, (cus I’m couch surfing) grabbed my A’s jacket, ran home, (to my aunts) downloaded the audio book, and listened to the first 3 chapters. I realize in my last review I admitted to not liking the movie as much if I read the book first… but I was going to try again.

I told my friend Korin, who is an A’s fan. We should totally see it. I hyped it up and told her about my jacket and that I was reading the book. She humored me… and I in turn said “I’m in!” HA!

A couple days later I was hanging out with The Juiceman and Korin’s roommate Christine. The idea was tabled that we should definitely see a movie. I was game… I assumed there would likely be a movie showing that I currently wanted to see. We entered the theater and instantly The Juiceman said, “MONEYBALL!” I panicked and suggested perhaps a different movie. (I had plans for that movie.) Before I could present any ideas the plan was made. (I think somebody maybe mentioned Planet of The Apes… but.. NO THANKS!)

So my Moneyball plan was ruined… no A’s jacket, no A’s Fan… fooey!

My thoughts: Money Ball was extremelly entertaining. I believe sports fans and non sports fans can both enjoy this flick. I do however wish I knew more about baseball, because it would have helped immensely in understanding a lot of the inside jokes.

Things I liked: I think Brad Pitt was perfect for Billy Beane. I enjoyed the telling of his back story… and the way the narrator took us from his days as a player up to current day.

Things I didn’t like: While Jonah Hill played Peter Brand really well. I could’t help but keep thinking “dang Jonah is getting fat!” Plus Peter Brand, AKA Paul DePodesta is a really sharp well dress man in real person.

My Advice:
Go see moneyball, bring an A’s fan and wear your A’s jacket!

My mom reads a lot of books. So it’s not shocking to me that she read The Help more than a year ago. She finished the book and couldn’t stop raving about it. She told me, she told her friends, she told family, “you gotta read this book!” I didn’t read it. A few months later my great aunt and then my cousin read the book, “you gotta read this book,” they said. My aunt handed me the book, but I didn’t read it. Some time past and the movie came out. I still hadn’t read the book… but I was going to. One day a cute girl mentioned to me, “hey… I’m reading The Help.” My response… “oh me too, when I finish it, we should go see the movie.” (I finished that book in 1.5 weeks.) (I did however cheat a bit… I downloaded the audio book!)

The cute girl finished the book and we went to the movies. I’m always afraid to read a book… then go see the movie. It seems that the movie can never compare to the book! I think it’s because a movie never has time to cover the details that the book does.

So… I thought the movie was good… but not nearly as good as the book.

The things I liked: It is super fun to go to a movie with somebody who has read the book. (especially when she’s cute.) I loved gossiping back and forth about things the book did better. (yes… we were the annoying ones talking in the theater.) I also enjoyed complaining about interesting twists and the creative license that the movie had taken.

I liked the directors choice in casting Emma Stone as Skeeter. (The daughter and Reporter) She wasn’t as frizzy haired as the book described her, but she was perfect for the role. Jessica Chastain was so perfect as Celia Foote. (the hopeless house wife) She made me laugh so many times! And yes… Hilly Hollbrook, played by Bryce Dallas Howard was so horrible… and it was fun to hate her! Finally I’m still torn about Allison Janney portrail of Skeeter’s mom. SPOILER ALERT: In the movie she was supportive of her daughter Skeeter… I really liked this… but it doesn’t follow the book! Is that bad?

The things I didn’t like: Again my statement stands… movies are rarely as good as the book! I think the movie touched on a lot of topics. It mentioned almost every major event in the book. However… I never felt as worried for Skeeter and The Help as I did in the book. In addition… I never once felt any of the weight of the repression of the 60′s and the weight of JFK’s death and such. They could have done that better.

Also… this isn’t important… but I didn’t like Chris Lowell as Stuart Whitworth. I always imagined Skeeter’s first boyfriend being bigger, stalkier and more of a southern football star.

My advice: See the movie… but it’s totally ok to rent it!
(Unless of course a cute girl invites you to go see it in the theater… in that case… my advice: DEFINETLY see this movie in a theater!)

When I was young and we would go to the movies…. we always bought candy at the corner store and snuck it in. I was always scared we were going to get caught. On one occasion I re-call sneaking cans of soda into the theater. I waited about twenty minutes to open it… I didn’t want people to hear the crack of the can opening. Finally I opened it, drank it, and set the empty can on the ground. A few minutes later I adjusted my feet… upon doing this I kicked the empty can and it rolled from where I was sitting… in the middle of the theater… down to the front of the theater. (clank, clank, clank, clank… and hit the wall with a thud.) I sank down in my seat for fear that people would know it was me. I was mortified!

Years later… and now I realize people don’t care!!! The other Day The Juiceman and I went to see Drive. Before entering the movie we purchased, 2 Quiznos sandwiches, 1 Snickers, 1 Starburst, a bag of M&M’s, some beef jerky and 3 small bottles of wine. We put them all in The Juiceman’s bag. We then proceeded to the theater, bought our tickets, found our seats, then gorged!!! The whole time I was eating I imagined the people around us were so very jealous! (what a jerk)

So… Drive… I didn’t know anything about the movie. The Juiceman was super excited to see it! I was a little bit worried that it was my second Ryan Gosling movie in 1 month. I don’t wan’t people to get the wrong idea about me and Ryan Gosling! Maybe I was over doing it… HA! (joke)

So my thoughts… In many ways Drive is simply another Fast and Furious movie… or something they could have just as easily cast Jason Statham in?! But… I still liked it! It won’t win any awards, it won’t be a big box office sensation, and it wasn’t as twisted as The Driver (which really disappointed The Juiceman.) However… I did enjoy watching it… and sometimes that’s all you can ask for from a Hollywood movie!

Things I liked: I liked the dual personalities of Ryan Gosling character “driver”
Things I didn’t like: (SPOILER ALERT) I still don’t understand the stunt double mask at the end! Why did he wear it, what did it represent, was there some sort of symbology behind it? That part really could have been explained better!
Recommendation: Watch it! But it’s ok if you rent it! 

By Stef Dastard

Tonight The Juiceman and I went and saw a movie. I know what you’re saying! “You went to a movie on a Saturday night when you should have been out partying?” Yes… and my rebuttal to that is, “YEAH SO!”

So The Juiceman was super amped to see Warrior or Contagion. The deciding factor presented itself when we discovered that Contagion started in 5 minutes and Warrior started in 50 minutes. If I could go back now… I would have waited the extra hour!

Contagion was not good. I’m just going to go out there and say it… There is no way to sugar coat this one!!! I can only give you the cold hard facts. I did not like this movie.

What? That’s not enough for you? Ok… this movie was so bad a major portion of the theater was talking during the movie. While it pissed me off that they wouldn’t stop gibber jabbering… cus they weren’t funny… I imagine they made their experience more enjoyable by talking trash. (but let’s be honest… there is only one Mystery Science Theater.)

I was about to give this movie a 100% bad review… but right in the middle of my review my friends Korin and Erin text me. “How was your night?” I informed them about my unfortunate Contagion situation… they text a bunch of bla, bla, bla… but then pointed out that they had heard about the SF shots in the movie… and they’re right. So… one redeeming part of this movie are the shots of San Francisco. There are some really good shots of Potrero and Civic Center covered in burning trash. That did make the movie a bit better.

The things I didn’t like:
1. What was the importance of Jude Law‘s character? He played a blogger with a messed up tooth… I still don’t know why his teeth were messed up… and I really don’t know what the importance of his role was!

2. Why did Matt Damon play the role of a boring dad? It’s nice to see that he isn’t a type-casted actor. But I have to admit… it’s disturbing seeing him as a dad when I think of him as The Borne Identity.

3. Where was the payoff. What was the movie actually about? Was there a point? So was it a happy ending or a sad ending? Wait… it’s over?

Anyway… My Advice:
Don’t see this movie… you should barely rent this movie… maybe look on You Tube and see if somebody recorded the SF scenes. That might be worth a $1 dollar rental at RedBox.

By Stef Dastard

Do you ever just feel like you want to escape for a bit? I find the movie theater to be a great place to get away for a couple hours. Four hours if you sneak into two movies!!! (Which I did.)

A couple days ago I went to Target to exchange a bike helmet and bike light my great Aunt bought to keep me safe. They weren’t my size… so I returned them. (No not for another helmet! I needed ipod headphones! HA!) While leaving Target I realized I had another gift with me, a 20 dollar gift card to AMC. While it was only 4pm and I did have other stuff I could do… what I wanted to do was watch a movie. So… with extreme haste I bought a ticket to Cowboys and Aliens. Post purchase I realized I still had $9 bucks on the card… not enough to see another movie… SO I BOUGHT THE BIGGEST POPCORN AND SODA THEY SOLD!

It was horribly awesome! (Did you know you get a free re-fill with a large popcorn? WHO NEEDS THAT MUCH POPCORN?) Attempting to take advantage of the fact that I could get a re-fill I first got Kettle Korn… ate it for a half hour… then dumped it in the thrash and finished the movie with butter popcorn.

anyway… on to the movie!!!

I had been wanting to see Cowboys & Aliens for a long time. However none of my friends saw the value in a cowboy movie with aliens. I know what you’re thinking. “RIDICULOUS!”

So… instead of forcing somebody to “suffer” through a sci-fi western I watched it alone. I think I’m glad I did. Perhaps maybe I set the movie up to be more amazing than it could actually be?! Let me start by saying “it didn’t suck.” My problem with the movie was simply that it wasn’t gritty western enough and it wasn’t glossy sci-fi enough. Thus leaving it slightly in the middle. Thus creating mediocracy.

I did however very much enjoy seeing Daniel Craig as the good/bad cowboy, his way of delivering the dialogue was gritty, and presented the passion I hoped for. I was however let down by the way everybody else acted around him… way too sappy sweet! Did you know Harrison Ford was in this movie? I didn’t! I also didn’t find him convincing as the bad/good cowboy. I kept seeing Indiana Jones in a cowboy outfit. Abigail Spencer was hot… but her role in the movie was rather weird! What was her purpose again? (oh yeah… she was hot!)

So my thoughts… while  based on the nature of the film you should see it on the big screen…. watch it on DVD. It’s not worth $11 dollars… but do watch it… cus I sorta enjoyed it… minus all the sappiness!!! (TOO SAPPY!)

So I left Cowboys and Aliens…. but didn’t feel like I was done avoiding the world! I still had half a coke and 3/4 bucket of Popcorn! While I knew I had no intent to eat or drink the rest… they still deserved to be taken into a movie. (right?)

When I left the first movie I suddenly realized they had upped security. Four or Five flashlight cops were now walking around the hallways. The ticket counter which had at one time been at the beginning of the theater complex was now also at the beginning of my hallway. Also a few hundred hyper kids had just been let out of Spy Kids. So this meant 1… I was a little nervous about getting caught by the flashlight cops, 2… I could only choose movies on in my hallway and 3… some kid was going to get punched.

I walked the hallway… nodded politely at the cop… kinda shook my popcorn to show that I’m a good paying customer!!! There weren’t many movies showing. If I could casually reach into the 3D glasses box and steal shades I could watch 3D smurfs… but the box was too deep… I’d be swimming in it… (that also ruled out Spy Kids 4… SHOOT) So I decided to watch the only movie left, Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Crazy, Stupid, Love and Cowboys and Aliens shared very little in common, except the fact that they were both too sappy!

I really like Steve Carell, I think he’s funny… but… I think he’s starting to feel a bit typecast. Perhaps he’s perfect for playing the 40 Year Old Virgin over and over… but I feel like he’s funnier than that!?

For the ladies and gay men out there, Ryan Gosling was pretty tasty in his tailored suits. I like the role he played… and I liked the twists in plot that he created!!! Though he was the supporting actor… I think he may have been my favorite character in the movie. He played the straight comedy role perfectly.

Spoiler Alert: I just have one question. Why would Steve Carell ever wanna get back with Catherine Keener? She slept with somebody in the office… BARF!!! Also why would Catherine Keener ever wanna get back with Steve Carell after he slept with nine girls in like 3 weeks?! Seriously?

So my thoughts… watch it… but not in the theater. I liked it… but didn’t love it!!!

Oh yeah… I didn’t get caught by the security guard… but he almost made me pee my pants when he came into the theater 20 minutes after I sat down. He stood at my row for what felt like 30 seconds… and I pictured him saying, “excuse me sir… but you need to come with me.” But… he didn’t! (Sometimes my imagination gets away from me!)

Friday night is a great night to go to a bar, to hit up the dance floor, perhaps stay up till 4am at some after hours event… Or… if you do that every Friday… it’s a great night to eat some sushi and see a movie with friends. (Luis, Nicole, Jason & The Juiceman)

Generally speaking I’m not a fan of seeing movies on a friday night. I hate sitting quiet with people I want to talk to. So if you’re hanging out with me… we probably won’t go to a movie!!! But this night was different. I think we prepped properly.

Sushi first, we got our stomach all full of saki, edamame, sushi, rice and teriyaki chicken. Then we went to the quickie-mart and purchased tiny bottles of wine and junk food. (Pretzel M&M’s, Peanut M&M’s, Strawberry Mentos, Laughy Taffy and Popcorn.) Needless to say we weren’t the quietest bunch in the theater… but to our advantage there were only 2 other couples in the entire theater.

The Change-Up was not my first choice. I wanted to see Cowboys & Aliens. (I guess that write up will just have to wait!) However the consensus was for The Change-Up… which to me was a much better choice than being forced to watch Rise of The Planet of the Apes. (I’m nerdy, but not that nerdy.)

I hadn’t seen any of the previews for The Change-Up… which I think was good!!! It seems like one of those movies that would be wrecked by the previews! I truly hate when promoters put all the funny parts in the trailer. SUPER PET PEEVE!

So not knowing any of the funny parts I laughed so hard in the first 30 seconds that I spit a mouth full of candy and wine on to the back of the seat in front of me. Then I cried for the next 30 seconds cus I couldn’t stop laughing… my friend The Juiceman had to punch me and tell me to get myself together.

My thoughts on the movie. It was dirty, inappropriate, juvenile, gratuitous, soft-core, lewd and ultimately pretty AWESOME. (FUNNY!) Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman did a great job of creating strong personality traits that the other actor could then copy when they switched roles. I rarely found myself bored in this movie… and actually found myself laughing out loud. (Which rarely happens with movies.)

The things that were weird:
They show a lot of boobs… but NONE OF THEM WERE REAL!!!
(The boobs looked like plastic prosthetics)

Advice:
See this movie… but it’s ok if you wait till it’s out on DVD.
Not for the prude or conservative… pretty lewd!!!

It’s sad to admit we’ve come to an end of an era. It feels like a piece of my past has just been hit with a deathly spell. I knew it had to come to an end eventually…. BUT I WASN’T READY!!!

I have been addicted to Harry Potter since 1999.
I know what you’re thinking:
“YOU WERE LATE!”
I know and I apologize for that…

Anyway… in 1999 I went to a girls house for a movie date…
We cuddled on the couch and watched the first Harry Potter movie.
I was pessimistic! (stupid kid movie, lets kiss!)
However… I Fell in love!!! Not with the girl, no… she didn’t last… I found a new love in the Harry Potter series. Little did I know then that it would keep me entertained for the next 12 years!!!
(Longest relationship I’ve ever been in!)

I was late to the scene, which ended up being to my advantage. Four books had already hit the market, I bought them all. I finished them quickly and was pleased to discover the 5th book had just hit the shelves. I gobbled that up too… It was then that I discovered the horror that many other Harry Potter Fans had experienced for years before me… The TORTUROUS wait for the next book.

I read book 5, 6 and 7 then realized it was all about to end. Ten pages from the end of book 7 (Deathly Hallows) I put the book down. I wasn’t ready for the story to end! Yes, you heard me right… I closed the book and didn’t pick it back up!!! So when I went to see part 2 of The Deathly Hallows… I didn’t know how it was going to end!!! (precious I know!)

You can imagine how hard it was to avoid hearing things that might wreck the ending for me. SPOILER ALERT: Last I knew… Harry Potter was DEAD and Hagrid was carrying him away.

When Part 2 was announced I was beyond thrilled for it’s release. I snatched up 2 tickets for the Midnight viewing at the AMC Metreon. I didn’t know who was going with me… but I had to have those tickets.

In the end, my friend Eirik and TJ went with me to see The Deathly Hallows Part 2. I made special Harry Potter shirts for the occasion:

We got there early… but there was still a crazy long line:

I brought part 1 and we watched it while waiting.
We sat in the theater for 3 hours waiting:

THE MOVIE WAS AMAZING!

While part 1 was missing action… and spent a lot of time building up the story… Part 2 was non-stop action packed adventure. THERE WAS SO MUCH WAND TACTICS/FIGHTING/DUALING!!!

• I enjoyed all the characters.
• There were lots of inside jokes that only a true fan would get.
• The movie was super long, but I didn’t mind!
• & all the effects were well done and I rarely if not never felt myself thinking CGI!

However… If I were going to change anything… I’d probably delete the last scene! Super cheezy and didn’t add anything to the movie. Perhaps a lame attempt to pull at your heart strings… or feel nostalgic, I didn’t need it!

My advice, watch it now in 3D… rent it again in 3 months when it comes out on DVD.